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The eBaum Diaries by Tommy Burrows - April 18th 2006 |
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eBaums World is probably the
best website in the world. Not only is the content hilarious and original,
but the majority of it was made by the creator -- Eric Bauman -- himself!
Not only that, but despite the risk of ending up running Spyware and
alienating the audience, there are no ads at all! There are loads of
animations, Photoshopped pictures, movies and fun games that the author has
agreed to be put on the site. Plus, when people send you links to their
site, you just know you're in for something hilarious and original (I do
love how hilarious and original the content on that site is). I figured it was time for the mature, pure-bred audience of eBaums World to finally witness one of my great creations. So, I submitted one made specifically for them. I call it 'Clown is Sad'. You can even see it here if you don't like eBaum's (which would be a shame). There's also a picture gallery of eBaum's lovely site here. April 18th 2006, Day 1 - I have spent what felt like an excruciating
twenty minutes on my latest piece of arse. However, it was all worth it to
get into the online pants of eBaum's World inc. I hope the watermark isn't
going to be too big as I would like the whole world to see this amazing
piece in its entirety (that said, you do need to protect what is rightfully
yours). The animation was submitted, but the Terms of Agreement has changed since my last look: it now appears that you have to have made the work yourself in order to submit it. That shouldn't be too much of a problem, because, as one of Bauman's former-employees said, "If eBaum wants something, he'll get it." I suppose one of his employees could just go get whatever 'it' is. Thus far, I haven't been contacted by anyone from eBaums World and my animation doesn't appear to be on their website (yet). Maybe it's already online and they haven't told me (yeah right, like anyone from eBaums World would do that). April 19th 2006, Day 2 - So far, I haven't received any emails from the eBaum staff, and after running a search, I haven't found anything relevant to my animation. I'm assuming that it just takes them a while since they have a lot of submissions to handle. Maybe if I advertised 'CiS' as an Internet phenomenon, someone over there would have picked it up already. April 20th 2006, Day 3 - Still no word from Bauman or any of the staff. I can't find the animation on his site anywhere, still. April 21st 2006, Day 4 - This is really starting to piss me off. If I can't get onto the greatest site in existence (bar maybe bnp.org.uk), then what's the point in living? I feel like Eric is trying to break my heart, but he probably never cared about me in the beginning. I wish I could make these thoughts go away, but I can't stop thinking about him: that cave-man-esque forehead, that monobrow that seems to scream out, "Chase me through a field of flowers, you hot banana, you." I'm going insane just thinking about the way he's mistreating me, but knowing that his raw, sexual power will continue to draw me back to his loins, like a perverted man's thong with a rubber band and pigeon attached (only a pervert would ever 'go the way' with a pigeon while bird flu is very much a big threat). April 22nd 2006, Day 5 - Why the flying Sega hast Bauman decided no to give me any response? Am I not good enough for him? I want to kill myself. I'm getting ignored by one of the greatest men of man-history. April 23rd 2006, Day 6 - Argh i think im going abit mad becoz of this ordeal i will kill eric and his bloody cat. April 24th 2006, Day 7 - i will now go out to backgarden to do sum killing on myslef with a rake becauz it is getting hard to do things rightly bye bauman you suckyarse peae of cake i will see you in hell with ian huntley. if yoo dont see an uodate after april assume im the dead. u suck bauman i will kill myslfe now. kthxbye. |